paradise valley

You gotta be your own best friend
she said , shovel in hand
Me, searching for answers I don’t have
just beyond the veil
but here, here, here… I feel nothing but love
as she held space for all
stuck in my chest
in my throat
bundled up in my heart

You gotta be your own best friend
she said, long hair blowing in the Montana wind
sprinkler system on
hay to grow
for animals I don’t know
this is life
everything can be done
with time, sun, & water
especially
in a town called Pray

You gotta be your own best friend
she said, ringing in my ears
after the heaviest week of critique upon myself
letting the words be salve upon my self inflicted blows
comfrey salve, calendula and eyebright too
self-improvement has a funny way of straddling the line
between hatred and peace
’but you don’t sit’
she said
you bounce
learning about her wild adventures
in mongolia
on reindeer
on seeing the sacred,
& on witnessing the disappearing

You gotta be your own best friend
she said ,
How else do you become that
which you once wanted to be?
The thistle root was deep
Trying every angle
letting the stings remind my hands
who is really in control
’you’ll know the answer by the time it comes out’
she said
Koa, walking over
to take a large piss
with his right eye holding my whole heart

My first trip out
will be Cambodia
and Cuba after that
but maybe first
my obsession with orange
and an idea that’s got its fangs in me
’you got this’
touching my cells
Paradise Valley
taking another heart
& resurrecting it whole
I take my own hand,
& watch the storm come through.

xx

a poem for Lorna

koa <3

and Lorna <3

Lorna & Koa